How To Be a Good Manager People Appreciate Working For — Part 1 of 2
Why would this be a 2-part piece?
I didn’t start writing this piece with the intention of breaking it up into 2 parts but as I put together my draft I realized how long it was getting. I am aware that people would be much less inclined to read if they saw a long wall of text. People are better able to ingest ideas and information in nice bite-size servings. Why do I care if people read it? No, not because it helps read ratios or other stats on Medium. It is because I genuinely hope that by sharing my experience it can either provide some affirmation for those that approach people management like me or help those that are struggling to find a management style that can work for them and their team. Yes, there is a “scientific” approach to management but I believe it is also a bit of an art where experiences and real life examples can have more impact than academics.
Being a good people manager can go a long way
This is a bit of a follow-up to my previous post about misconceptions of being in management in which one of the misconceptions was that people management sucks. I’ve had the benefit of being in a leadership / management role going onto 10 years now and I’ve managed to develop a reputation for being a manager that people appreciate working for. I wasn’t even aware of the reputation until I was approached by recruiters and HR folks working with former co-workers and apparently that was the feedback some of them received. I have also had former members of my teams reach out to me when they are looking for new opportunities or be willing to join me at new opportunities when I reach out to them. Surely people wouldn’t do such things if I was not someone they like working for. Regardless, I do know for a fact that being a good people manager can go a long way not only for those you manage but also open up different opportunities for your own career development as people develop positive memories and impressions of you. The first part of the piece focuses on self-improvement while the second part I’ll be focusing more on interactions with the team.
Be authentic
No one likes dealing with people that are not authentic in terms of their words and actions let alone working for such a person. One of the first things I do when inheriting or building a team is to ensure that I provide examples of me saying that I’ll do certain things for my team and then back it up with action. It’s a focus on establishing an understanding that I will be a person of my word especially when dealing with my team. I have found it goes a long way to establishing a level of trust that is needed for any good team. It is hard to build trust and get the most out of your team when they automatically discount the authenticity of the things you say or ask them to do. I have been told by former co-workers or members of my teams that they always felt and appreciate how authentic I was. In some cases it was the reason they reached out with opportunities. By being authentic it can give people a source of comfort to enable them to focus on their jobs instead of worry about your intentions.
Control your emotions but don’t suppress your feelings
As a person in management, your team reacts directly to the emotions you exhibit. If you exhibit anger and frustration then it can trigger them to back-off and be tight lipped on issues for fear of the anger being directed at them. If you show a lot of anxiety and uncertainty then they may lose faith in your ability to lead and guide them through challenging times. Controlling your emotions can be difficult depending on your personality and natural response to emotions but it is important for your team to see you are able to control them, especially in challenging times. It can take a bit of effort to improve your emotional intelligence but it is something worth investing in. Whenever I realize I’m dealing with a challenging or emotionally charged situation I always mentally remind myself to keep my personal emotions in check and not take things personally. I also make use of silence to help avoid saying things out of pure emotion. It’s like that technique you’re taught as a child when you’re angry, “take a deep breathe and count to 10”. I’ve found that people tend to recognize people with high emotional intelligence and more often then not gravitate to them because it can provide comfort in high stress situations as well as someone for them to aspire to learn from in order to develop their own EQ.
I should clarify that controlling your emotions doesn’t mean you should suppress your feelings as a manager. People you lead / manage should see that you are human and still experience feelings. I generally try to share with my teams when I am feeling frustrated, angry, or disappointed with an outcome or situation. It can help them appreciate that you are capable of having empathy when they experience the same feelings due to some outcome or situation. The important part about sharing your feelings is to follow-up with sharing how you plan to react and move forward despite what you’re feeling. By doing so you provide your team an example of how to react in a high EQ manner and therefore increase their trust in your ability to lead them through challenges. Bottom line, invest in developing your EQ.
Be comfortable leveraging manager discretion
Learn to be comfortable bending the rules or leveraging gray areas in policies or processes in order to do what is right for your team or an individual on it. Sometimes established policies or processes are so generic or draconian that enforcing them can feel wrong or unjust. I often tell members of my teams that I will never “nickle and dime” them as long as they show up for me and the team when it is necessary. Basically I will exhibit some flexibility in enforcing certain policies or processes as long as they hold up to their end of the deal by being there when needed. Yes, it does mean you personally take on a bit of risk but I’ve found it to be worth the resulting benefits. People that have worked for me often end up being more dedicated and motivated to perform well once they know I am always willing to assess and do what is reasonable “right” even if it means bending some rules. I take it as them showing their appreciation for me taking on personal risk in order to help them. Time off policies are ones that I tend to be the most flexible with on account of the fact that work and home lives are increasingly intertwined and not so clearly separated anymore. That bit of empathy and flexibility goes a long way to establishing a good working relationship with those you manage as it can potentially help them better manage stresses in their lives. Policies and processes can be a bit dehumanizing at times because they can be applied as black and white. I’m just suggesting a little grayscale makes pictures look way better without adding in colours that may get you fired.
That’s it for now
Hopefully these tips, insights, or whatever you’d like to call them is helpful and possibly spark some self-reflection if you happen to be in a people management role or aspire to be. That’s really the underlying theme for this first part of the piece; a good people manager always spends time self-reflecting and improving. I hope to share part 2 in a week or so depending if life’s other commitments cooperate.
Originally published at http://realtimerevisions.com.
